Why Do I Dream About My Ex Years Later?

Ex Partners

Have you woken up in the middle of the night because you suddenly dreamed about your ex? Were there any instances where you are perfectly happy with your current relationship, but your ex unexpectedly shows up in your dreams?

Absurd right? Why would you suddenly think, let alone dream about your ex after how many years?

Whether you ended the relationship well or not, thinking or even dreaming about an old love can bring back myriads of emotions due to a previous heartache. There’s a reason they are called ex in the first place because they might be old memories you wish to bury with time. Or, it can be the other way around, where you want to bring back the past times.

Crazy as it may sound, but this is something that happens a lot whether you are in a relationship or not. The following day, you find yourself wondering why such a thing would happen in the first place. Odd enough that you even dreamed about this person, and even harsher when your partner asked you why you seem to be preoccupied. Rather than telling them you dreamt about your ex and started a “war,” let’s try to unravel some of the mysteries behind this dream.

What your dreams mean

Dreams deals with our subconscious mind. They can either serve as a warning or reminder of important events or circumstances in your life. Dreams have their meanings. Let’s take a closer look at each situation.

Involves having sex with your ex. Such a dream signifies some uncertainties or reservations you have in your life. This denotes that your hesitation on your current status or situation, lack of confidence in revealing your genuine emotions or entering into a new relationship.

When you are kissing your ex-partner doesn’t suggest that you still “want” your previous partner. The dream shows that your subconscious is alerting you of the same behavioral patterns from your last relationship. That there are certain circumstances in your current relationship that has happened before. Reminding you to learn from your old mistake and never to run into the same reason for heartache all over again. Time to reflect on your action to alter the result.

On the other hand, it can also mean you are reminiscing of the good old days in your relationship.

A dream where you got back together with your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or ex-husband/wife. This dream doesn’t mean you are indeed getting back together. It is a reflection of how far you have gone with your current relationship.

Dream that your ex is missing means that something is lacking in your current relationship that you wish to get back.

On the other hand, it can also mean you have moved on from your past love and is ready for a new desire to come your way.

Couple Enjoying the Outdoors

When dream shows that your ex is dead is a metaphor that you have entirely buried your feelings for your past love. Finding a new love is the next step after relinquishing yourself of an old passion.

For women, if you dreamed about your old boyfriend from childhood, this means that you need to rekindle the fire between you and your partner. You need to look beyond your responsibilities as adults or married couples, but to find the excitement behind the spontaneous romance. Find ways to bring the spark back, surprise each other if you have. Deviate from the usual routine and be like a young couple again who fell in love for the first time.

To dream that your ex hurts or ignores you means it’s time to make bygones be bygones. Stop going back memory lane and start moving forward to new and exciting destinations.

Alternatively, it can also mean your desire to be involved in a relationship.

When your ex is giving you advice is alarming or telling you not to fall in the same manhole all over again. It is time to take a different route to create a different story.

When your ex is giving you a massage suggests that you have to tear down the walls around you. Perhaps because of past hurts or trauma, you have created a wall or armor around you to stop people from getting through. A defense mechanism not to fall in love just to be hurt again. Now is the time to let go and fall in love all over again.

To dream that your ex is proposing signifies that you are longing for a relationship that completes you. Perhaps your past relationship made you feel complete or whole that you wanted the same in your current status. It does imply going back with your ex but indicates instead that decision lies in you.

If your ex brings you a stuffed toy means you are looking for a relationship that gives you comfort and security. The same feeling that a stuffed toy evokes.

On the other hand, it can also reflect the immaturity in your past relationship.

When you dream that your ex kidnapped you, it could mean that your ex feels that there is no closure between you. There is something that is holding him back from letting you go.

If your ex moves into your house signifies you have moved on and now, can be civil with him/her.

If your ex is admitted to the hospital means you have not yet moved forward. You are still waiting for closure on some unresolved issues between you.

If he gets released from the hospital, this means you have fully resolved the conflict and are ready to move forward.

For men, if you dreamt of impregnating your ex-girlfriend, the meaning varies if the baby is yours or not.

If you are the father, this means you are still hoping to get back with your ex. If not, it signifies that you have come into terms with your relationship.

How to deal with your dreams

Understanding the psychological meaning behind the dreams is very interesting as it helps you to reconsider and reflect on your current relationship. Besides these meanings, other reasons could have triggered you dreaming of your ex. Dissecting these reasons and looking for a plausible solution could help you get over it.

Man Sitting Alone

  1. You have not moved on yet. This reason is by far the most apparent reason why you would still dream of your ex. Especially when the other party went ghosting after falling head over heels with this person, it can leave unresolved feelings and unanswered questions that haunt you still. End the case. There is nothing wrong with putting closure to an uncertain relationship. Especially if the person ghosted you, they have their reasons and letting go would be the best option. Stop thinking about the what-ifs in your relationship. Feel the emotions for a while but don’t stay there. Closed that door and open the window for a new love to flow.
  2. You saw something or heard something that reminds you of your ex. Whether it be his picture on social media or your favorite place or even theme song, this can trigger your subconscious mind and bring his existence into your dreams. Especially when you share fond memories of a particular movie or song, just hearing it in passing can bring back the feelings hidden in the deepest part of your heart. While it is nice to reminisce once in a while, make sure you don’t stay there and be dragged by your past.
  3. Your ex tried to get in touch with you. With the advent of technology, especially social media, it is easy to get in touch with an old love. Even if it’s a simple like, comment or private message, such action can bring back flashes of memories taught at the back of your mind. These memories resurfaced after many years triggering an old memory to play in your dreams. You fight a lot with your current partner. Often, when you are in a difficult situation, it makes you reminisce about the good ole’ days. Perhaps there are certain traits or characteristics that your previous partner has that the current one doesn’t make you think about him. Instead of wishing things from your past, it is better to resolve it with your current partner. There is no use comparing two different individuals and quite unfair for either party. Talk it out and learn from your previous mistakes.
  4. Your ex wanted to get back with you. Even if you reject the idea, if your ex is persistent in getting you back, it can result in you dreaming about him. To resolve this, it would be best to wrap things up with him. Whether you choose to accept him or not, giving him the ultimatum should help you ease the tension. Telling them exactly what you feel should ease the burden from your shoulder. Give them time to accept what is and move on with their lives.

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